Happiness, success, peace, boundaries are all things that each of us as individuals must define for ourselves, yet so many people are focused on living someone else’s definitions of these things. Back in the day, people talked about those who attempted to “keep up with the Jones’s”, these days, it’s a goal to keep up with the Kardashians and other such influencers.
Why Compete?
The internet has strangers competing with other strangers across the globe and people living fake lives, hoping that people will think they’re more important or happier than they really are. At a time where we’re seeing more and more suicides, especially in teens and youth, it’s become more imperative that you start living for you and not those on social media. It’s not enough to stage a photo to look like you’re living your best life, you can really go out and live it.
I had to fire a coaching client last once. Ending our contract was extremely hard for Me because not only have I invested an extensive amount of time in this client, but I was really rooting for her to win. Before I started working with her last year, I told her that I saw through the facade that she was putting on for social media. I could see clearly through the images she was posting with perfect makeup, bundles on deck and fly outfits and sister girl was hurting. I’ve worked with many clients like her, I’m sure you know someone like the person I’ve described.
The problem with putting on a show for social media, hoping that no one will see how bad you’re in need of a friend, an ear, a hug, some help etc., is that you’re compounding issues now. Not only are you battling whatever issue you already have, you’re tricking people who could nurture or help you into thinking you don’t need anything, which inevitably leads to resentment because they don’t see your need. Add to that the stress and depression that comes along with creating a fake life and you’re asking to crash.
You Don't Have to Live Like This
Every day we are bombarded with ideas and images of who and what we should aspire to be. Through mainstream media outlets, Fortune 500 companies and social media alike, we are told what’s trendy, the current style, the current ideal weight, the diet we should be eating etc. If you try to keep up with everything the media and big business tell you that you should, you’d exhaust yourself. You’d also lose yourself. There’s no way you can be yourself and everything else the world wants you to be also, there’s not enough time in the day. You must not only be true to yourself but invest your time and energy into things that are true to your nature and goals.
I see so many women jumping from trend to trend; selling hair one week and travel agents the next, meal plans two weeks later. These same women jump from man to man, diet to diet, etc. seeking happiness from outside sources instead of doing the necessary inner work to create the life they desire and deserve. While avoiding the hard work, they find time to take pics of their fake smiles, abusive relationships they stay in to say they have someone, clothes and shoes they can’t afford according to their bank balances and even take trips.
Even if it’s hard to lead a fake life through these photos and Instagram or Facebook stories, it’s even harder to dig yourself out of the hole of lies on top of the pain and isolation created by them both. There’s only so long you can continue to live like this before it all, including yourself, crumbles.
I work with women to help them create the life they desire and deserve. That desire is different for each woman, each person. Too often, we get caught up living in someone else’s dream life and wondering why they’re unhappy. Your goals, your dreams, your path in life is not tied to anyone else’s, they’re yours alone. The most important thing you can do for yourself, is be yourself. The same people you’re attempting to impress on the internet are probably doing the exact thing you are, hoping no one sees their real situation.
Coach Melony Hill
Remember, I’m Stronger Than My Struggles and YOU are too!