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  • Writer's pictureMelony Hill

For Years I Battled Insomnia; Eventually I Discovered That Sleep Was A Trigger.

I've never felt safe and comfortable sleeping at night. If I did, it was so long ago that I have no recollection of it.

Growing up in a house that was not only rife with domestic violence, but illnesses and even vermin, sleep was not something that came easy. If I tried to list all of the things that happened that made it impossible to sleep at night it would look something like

  • A rat jumped in the bed with us and tried to snatch My baby sister's bottle

  • My stepfather and mom would get to arguing and fighting

  • My mothers Tuberculosis, hole in her heart and other illnesses kept her and us up

  • My mothers loud parties during her drug addict days kept us up

  • My molester started molesting Me in My bed

  • An ex broke in My home and tried to beat Me to death in My bed

and the list would go on and on. Sleep has never been a peaceful thing for Me. I can recall nights attempting to stay awake as long as I could, sure that the moment I fell asleep, I'd be sexually assaulted.

Over the years, My nightmares have been full of not only imagery from My past, but also, visions of the present and future. I found Myself constantly battling nightmares that involved Me being kidnapped off the streets.

Overactive neighbors forced Me to install security cameras and an alarm system in the last few years. I couldn't sleep at ngiht due to all the noises around Me. I was constantly getting up to check the windows and doors, making sure I was safe. The alarms and cameras have helped, especially being able to look outside My home from the safety of My bed.

Last year, while on the Crazy Like a Fox Tour, I spoke about My struggles with sleep. Check out the video clip below. Have you ever battled insomnia or had a fear of falling asleep? How did you conquer it?

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