• Melony Hill

Are You Giving Your All to the Wrong People?

I saw a meme that said, “Everyone isn’t your assignment, that’s why you’re drained.” I realize that this is a message that will save many other some pain and stress, it certainly has helped Me.

You Can't Fix Everyone

Moments before I saw the image, I had posted an update on social media telling people that I wouldn’t be able to function as normal today. Last week was a long one that included travel to another time zone, I returned home early this week, while traveling not only was My flight seriously delayed but I got a call out of the blue with a relative seeking to cause drama. At one point they said to Me, “How can you be a life coach and fix everyone else, but you can’t fix us?”

In that moment, I wanted to break down but that wasn’t an option. I had to get home, the following day I was scheduled to teach a weekly free event that I do for the community. By the time I arrived home, I was physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. I came home and passed out cold. The next day, I could barely pull Myself out of bed. I was so fatigued. It seemed that this brief conversation with My relative had taken a severe toll of Me, My mindset and ability to function as normal. I’ve jumped through hoops to attempt to be there for, connect with and help this relative to no avail only to randomly be attacked by phone.

Dedicated to My commitments, I pulled Myself out of bed to go into the city to teach our weekly workshop. I grumbled the whole way there, wishing I wasn’t so dedicated to the people who show up weekly. People started to arrive early and at first, I was annoyed. As more and more people started to show up for our free weekly writing workshop, coming in greeting Me warmly with hugs and smiles, I felt my mood lighten.

The more people who filled the room, I realized that My anxiety, depression and even the fatigue that had almost kept Me from them, was gone. These people over the last year and a half, have become My relatives also. They are My family; as first-time attendees joined the group, they became new family members. What struck Me the most, as we talked, laughed, cried and bonded over common experiences and struggles, was the realization that only 15 mins of convo with the wrong person, had derailed Me for over two days, yet within minutes of being in the room with the right people, I was like a whole new person. Re-energized.

Why This Story Matters

I tell this story because I know you’ve felt the same energy around people, whether in your professional or personal life. Often, we see people with a need and want to offer them our assistance or service. You’ve heard the saying, “everyone isn’t your customer”, but I want those of you who are dedicated to service, like Myself, that everyone isn’t your assignment either. Whether you’ve been blessed with a kind hearts or gifts that offer healing, if you’re finding yourself constantly drained, you must look at the people you’re serving. They may not be ready for what you offer, if not, they will only drain you and there’s nothing you can do to stop it but get out of the situation.

When My relative questioned My ability to help others fix their lives but not fix our relationship, My response to them was that I can help others “because they want it and you don’t.”

So often, people will try to take advantage of the kind-hearted and those who are dedicated to service. Don’t feel that because you’ve been blessed with a kind heart or healing nature, that you must allow yourself to be emotionally, mentally or physically manipulated or drained. You’re not here to be a martyr but a servant leader, sharing your gifts with the world.

#selfcare #boundaries

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